I have had an abortion.

It happened when I was in my last year of University, getting my master’s in Business administration. I used to study well into the night and start my day at 8 o clock in the morning again. Being as studious I was, I scored big in exams.

I considered myself very hardworking, and perfectly healthy. Being that I went to gym regularly and had healthy food, I rarely fell sick. However, that I was changing and found myself out of energy, tired, nauseous and snappy.

A friend joked, asking me if I was pregnant and I was suddenly concerned.

I immediately bought pregnancy tests to see if I was indeed pregnant. Three test cards showed positive results. Not believing my own eyes, I booked for a doctor’s appointment.

The next natural step would be to tell my boyfriend; however, I was too afraid for his reaction. If he was against it, would I step back from my decision to abort like I was thinking. Because of this fear, I didn’t tell him.

A dilemma

Turned out I was over 6 weeks pregnant. Suddenly all those pro-life vs. pro-choice rallies that happened in front of college flashed before my eyes. I never thought these political disputes would be applicable to my life in such a personal manner.

I had to tell my boyfriend, there was no way around it. We both were in shock, neither of us had any experience in pregnancy.

Talking to a consultant

My boyfriend was laying low, being firmly pro-choice, he had made clear that the decision was up to me. If I said so, he would find a way to access safe abortion pills or take responsibility for child care. So he drove me to a pregnancy consultant, so I could clear my mind and take the decision I wanted to. The woman there was very supportive and heard all my story without prejudice or condescension.

I laid it out there – that I was not a person that was nurturing or wanted to be parent – not only now but never.

Furthermore, my education and career would take a step back if I would have to take care of a baby.  Not only would it deter me from further education, but my plans- that I invested everything for – to get the internship at a company I wanted and to start a career that I wanted will be gone.

Making a decision

Now, I know that there are women out there who have achieved their dream careers even after having kids. However, realistically – much portion of women who have children at college do not get the time or the opportunity to get back what could have been.

Furthermore, even research proves that college going women who have children are much less likely to complete education and get a career.

Never minding the research-, I knew that I would have been unhappy and resentful if I had given up my career and education at that stage of my life.

Since I didn’t want to have children anyways, I decided to have a pregnancy termination.

Having an abortion

Being at a place we like, it was very difficult to access any abortion clinic. Therefore, I decided to  buy MTP Kit online and have the procedure done at home.

Now both my boyfriend and me have the job we enjoy with good pay. After my abortion I may have had mixed feelings, but to this day I do not regret my decision.

– By Arlene Bernstein, 22